Writing Letters to Bill
by Mabelton Lynn Pines
Summary: The tittle explains most of it. Bill Cipher will write back if he cares enough. More details inside. Gravity Falls fic where you the reader can interact with Bill. Good luck.
1. Chapter 1

Ok so this is just something I will do in my free time. So here is how it works, Bill Cipher and I are 'friends' and he agreed to write to you people. All you have to do is PM me or write something in the reviews and Bill will hopefully care enough to write back. Please keep it appropriate and avoid using cuss words. Thank you.

PS. Please if you are a guest put a name so you know what letter is yours, if not he will just put guest 1, guest 2, and on and on.


	2. Dazzle4830

Dazzle4830

Hi Bill. There's a rumor that you and Dipper are together. Also may I remark that you are one of my favorite characters. You are so awesome. Were you human before or were you always a demonic triangle? See you later.

* * *

Hey kid... umm so that little rumor was just a joke to satisfy you humans and your sick minds. I'M A DEMON! Why would I get together with a 12 (almost 13) year old boy that I despise. As for me being one of your favorite characters, I have that effect on people.

I have been a demon for as long as I can remember, which is a LONG time. Longer than the universe so... no I have always been a demon. See you soon too.


	3. Nameless Panda

Hey Bill,  
I have a few questions I hope you can answer:  
1 Are there other dream demons, besides you? 2 If so, I recently dreamt about one, that was diamond-shaped, purple, with a pink eye (the iris of the eye, I mean). He was very flamboyant, effeminate, and weird. Do you know a demon like that?  
3 What are the things in the 'nightmare realm' you want to bring forth?  
Greetings, Nameless Panda

* * *

Well nameless panda, demons outnumber the human race so there very well could be a demon like that, but I don't know him. He is probably a loser compared to me anyway. I will bring forth all of my demon followers so we can have a party that will last for eternity… after I wipe out the human race!

~Bill Cipher~


	4. Random Fan

Random Fan

Okay. Bill Cipher, I have one question for you. Why the g*dd**n h**l are you so creepy? Seriously, up until 'The Last Mabelcorn', I only called 'You' creepy triangle guy. Ummm... no offence.

* * *

I have been here longer than the universe so it's only natural to sink myself into insanity! It is so fun watching people suffer… speaking of suffer, good luck sleeping tonight! (No offence taken)

~Bill Cipher~


	5. Guest 1

Guest 1

Hello Bill, big fan. I have a question for you. Would you make a deal with me?

* * *

Well thank you and yes, I would love to make a deal. Just send me the details and hopefully we can work something out.

~Bill Cipher~


	6. Letha

Letha

Hey Bill! Do you want to join my harem? I don't care if you want or not, you are in my harem **

… DO I LOOK LIKE A PLEASER! Wow you humans are sick creatures indeed. I refuse and you should be expecting a very bad nightmare tonight.

~Bill Cipher~


	7. Ghost Guardian

Ghost Guardian

Good Day my fantastical friend! How are your demony ways and such? I was wondering if you could spare the time to mess with space and time with me? I want to destroy some things.

* * *

Every day ends with despair anyway, I would like to mess with space and time with you but that would most likely mess with some of my plans, but we could meet up when the human race is at its lowest point and have fun. If you survive anyway.

~Bill Cipher~


	8. Frostshard

Frostshard

Dear Bill,  
So, I've heard that you've influenced the illuminati. I've also heard you're secretly a banana. Is this true?  
P.S. Are you equilateral or isosceles (is that how you spell it?)

* * *

Well this group of men thought of me as a god so yes that is where they got the illuminati symbol. I AM NOT A BANNANA! I hear about the Dorito thing all the time but now bananas!? What is wrong with you people! I may look equilateral, but one of my sides is slightly smaller than the other two. It goes unnoticed by the human eye and they may just classify me as a equilateral but it means everything to me. (I never really cared about your human language, I just use this magical thing called the internet, sometimes it makes me regret things)

~Bill Cipher~


	9. FuzzyPickleLady

FuzzyPickleLady

Hey there! What's your favorite book, or do they not matter to you? And, what do you think about popsicles?

* * *

I don't care about literature! I already have the drama novels in real life (watching you and everyone else that inhabits your useless plain of existence.) popsicles are human food and I find eating disturbing and useless.

~Bill Cipher~


	10. vsauceiscool101

vsauceiscool101

Dearest Bill,

How are you, good friend? I'm good. I have actually tried summoning you, but my sister ripped the page up from Journal 4 (That's right, I have Journal 4!). So hopefully, we can make a deal sometime. If I get Journal 2.

vsauceiscool637

P.S. I am actually called many names: vsauceiscool637, vsauceiscool101, vsauceiscool, etc., etc. You get the gist. Anything that involves Vsauce is in my name. Except for plain ol' "Vsauce". Stupid copyright. Oh, and remember. REALITY IS AN ILLUSION. THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM. BYE GOLD. BYEEEEEEEEEEE!

* * *

Well we could always make a deal it your dreams; I'm already going to be terrorizing some people so maybe I can stop by! Well with the knowledge you have you might be able to live longer than most humans during my rain so keep it up.

~Bill Cipher~


	11. Frostshard 2

Frostshard

Yo Bill, if I wrote some really horrible and terrifying GF one-shot that made no one want to watch GF anymore, what would your reaction be? Oh, and read the infamous Dipper Goes to Taco Bell and give us you thoughts on it.  
~Frostshard

* * *

If you wrote some one-shots, I might like you but the Taco Bell thing… never again!

~Bill Cipher~


	12. DaniellePines

DaniellePines

Hey Bill, I, uh, wanted to ask you some questions... whatareyouplaningwhyareyoudoingthiswhatareyouwhydidyoupossesme-ImeanDipper-andwhydidyoumesswithGreatUncleFordsmind! *Pant* That took a lot out of me.*pant*  
I-I'm not Dipper using my friend's account, whaaaat?*nervously laughs* oh crap she's back! Aanndd Send!  
Hey, why are you on my laptop-

* * *

… Not telling you my plans! Not telling you why! I'm a demon! And I possessed _**you**_ because I needed a physical form Pine Tree! me and your Grunkle Ford are not on the best terms right at this moment! See you tonight too!

~Bill Cipher~


	13. Sophia Crutchfeild

My Dearest Bill Cipher,

In theory:

the claims of lost oceans whisper your name  
and I know that you and he are one in the same

William Sloan is it Or is it simply a dream  
A shooting star's whispers over hills of grassy green

The demon king has risen and with you comes a storm  
to make humanity's worthless trove wish they had yet to be born

I remember you you know from the depths of my dreams  
becoming so very numb, that things may not be as they seem

And in this darkest of dawns we watch the black sun rise  
over the dreary mountain we will await your enemies cries

Death you tell us death, and none yet to be seen  
as in the whispers of your father hiss the town begins to gleam

And you've become so numb that you no longer feel him there  
but every time it tires you you become more aware

Trust me trust me I know who you are  
and I know that you have fallen in too deep with Shooting Star

Plans made plans failed stories you have told  
Promises made of buying up your gold

Crush me if you must until there's nothing of me left  
But once you do I promise you won't make another step

So the nightmare that lives inside your head will forever play on  
as you sit atop your throne over the corpses over your pawns

Forever parties dances balls and galas have been held  
but nothing like the festival where all the demons dwell

So now the time has come at last: my final qusstion for you  
the thirteenth year is coming William Sloan so just what shall you do?

All the best,  
Sophia Crutchfeild

* * *

I don't know who this William Sloan person is but I will make humanity wish they were never been born and I will become king! And are you saying I like shooting star? Wow have you got it wrong! I'm thinking about crushing you but I actually enjoyed your letter. You may live though my uprising. Thirteenth year, it depends which thing you are talking about? I plan to see you soon!

~Bill Cipher~

(p.s. Mabelton: I know who William Sloan is! I read the fan fic! I also have read The Ghost Of Crutchfeild Hall)

)


	14. Nameless Panda 2

Nice, I actually got an answer.  
Hahahaha, Seth (I believe that was his name) thought you were, and I quote: "[Bill is] ..an idiot who thinks he's above all others, and only cares about having fun, [by/with] annoying puny humans." I wonder how he could have an opinion, if he never met you for real. *shrugs* Anyway, if you are omniscient, do you know my starsign (you always have a 1 out of 12 chance) ?  
Greetings, Nameless Panda

* * *

This Seth guy has no idea who he is talking about! If he calls me an idiot than what is he, I know everything there is to know! Does he know the longest time between two twins being born is 87 days? Here I'll meet him soon enough. And to know your starsign you have to know yourself, are you sure you really know who you are?

~Bill Cipher~


	15. HM GFMAU

Hi Bill! Wathca doing?!

Well thats great!  
Anyway do you know what my "username" stands for?  
Ha! Funny~

OH! Not what you said!  
I laughed at "stand for" cause if you just move the latter "d"  
From "stand" and put it at the end of "for" and put those words to gather,  
You get "stanford"! (Okay, you need to take away the "s" too, but still!)  
And i didn't even mean for that to happen!

But this is!  
I don't under"STAN"! What you want from me? XD

Okay, this is all just gibberish. So here comes a legit question;  
Are you looking forward to tomorrow? You know, the release of the new gravity falls episode (Dipper and Mabel vs the future!)  
I am! Maybe it's the day you take over the world. If it is, then Congrats Bill!  
You successfully concorde the world! *claps hands*  
But maybe not, who knows (well, you should Know Bill!) we'll just have to see tomorrow.

It's to bad that you problably can't answer this letter in time.  
But thats my fault, i should have asked sooner, even if i just now discovered this ...  
"Mailbox" ? Anyway, hope you have a good time!

Your dear (and problably crazy)  
HM GFMAU

* * *

I am destroying children's dreams! You sure like to cipher things don't you no wonder you like GF. *Adding to long list of bad puns*

I am very excited for the release. Dipper and Mabel are growing up and my time comes closer and closer. My time will come, dear follower of your king!

~Bill Cipher~


	16. Frostshard 3

HEY BILL, JUST TO ANNOY YOU, IMMA TELL ALL MY FRIENDS YOU'RE AN ILLUMINATI DORITO. YOU ALRIGHT WITH THAT? (I already know your answer, but I'm doing it anyway.)  
Awesome nightmares,  
~Frostshard

* * *

You know what when I take over the world, you're the first one I'm going to take out! WHOS WITH ME!?

~Bill Cipher~


	17. RANDOM IDIOT

RANDOM IDIOT

Hey Bill, why do you want to take over the world? What will you do after you accomplish it? What do you think of the Reverse falls au you? How do you feel when people call you a giant one eyed dorito Also, what is you favorite gravity falls au?

* * *

Wouldn't you want to take over the world? I would have a huge party! The reverse GF me is a wimp, I'm glad he doesn't exist!

Calling me a giant one eyed dorito is like me calling you fat and then kicking you in the shins… and my favorite au is the one where I win… all the time… and Dipper and Mabel bow at my feet and hand me the weapon they will be killed with.

~Bill Cipher~


	18. SparkFlyer

SparkFlyer

Dear oh great and powerful Bill,  
Hi! I just have a few questions! 1. Do you know Tad Strange? 2. Is he REALLY a human? 3. Do you like bread? 4. If I punched all of my friends who call you Dorito, would you be pleased? 5. Better yet- What if I murdered them? 6. If I draw a picture of you, are you able to see out of it?

* * *

I like you kid and I know all of you puny humans, and Tad Strange is one! I don't eat food but I hear bread is boring. I would be very pleased if you punched them or if you murdered them… congratulations! You are one of the few that will survive the apocalypse!

If you draw a picture of me, yes I can see out of them, so be a good kid and drag out your sidewalk chalk and permanent markers and get to drawing!

~Bill Cipher~


	19. Nameless Panda 3

Hey Bill,  
Can I (and my family) please not die in the apocalypse? I like living. And you are my wallpaper. Can you see trough that too?  
Greetings, Nameless Panda

Ps. I know my starsign. I just wondered if you knew.

* * *

I'm not sure… maybe I can let you live but you have to be loyal to me, and I would have to test you all.

~Bill Cipher~


	20. Sophia Crutchfeild 2

My Dear Bill Cipher,

In theory:

The thirteenth year comes just tonight  
to wash away the pitiless light

I fly on wings of broken glass  
and see you there though still alas

You are he and he is you  
Cipher's secrets split souls in two

Shooting Stars know better than this  
yet can never resist a stranger's wish

Pictures, paintings, forks and knives  
does my blood please your countless eyes?

As the trees are all cut clean through  
can you still not remember back when that was you

Can you still not recall your own frozen grave  
or the long lost broken souls not one person tried to save

In the night at the window or the pages of a book  
do you see me do you see me do you yet know where to look

Golden ivory onyx flames  
I know all three of your names

Three letters back and a becomes z  
play it all backwards j-u-h-l you will find me

And I have seen your golden trees  
but perfections lack the winter's breeze

A tale so tragic it's been burned  
a line was crossed a child turned

So tell me William do you see  
what makes you, you is what made me, me

All the best,  
Sophia Crutchfeild

* * *

What is this, a riddle, the kids are turning 13 tonight I get that. Forks and knives are pretty fun! You are really confusing kid you know that? Well I better get going, it's time to prepare for the kids b-day.

~Bill Cipher~


	21. Frostshard 4

Hey Bill! I know I've been a liitle...weird, BUT, what if, I, somehow made doritos not exist anymore, bananas too, destroy the satellite that gives everyone internet (because internet is everything to some people), joined the dark side, (very reluctantly) shared my awesomely awesome cookies of awesomeness, let everyone know that I really AM insane, wrote the scariest book ever that made everyone afraid of everything (yes, even kittens), snuck into a nuclear bomb area thingy and set off most of the bombs and sent the rest to Russia, did a whole bunch of sadistic stuff, and finally ended this sentence?  
I also got one question... oh wait, I forgot what it was. Just gonna make one up... what is your... favorite animal? (Ya know on your a.m.a [ask me anything] someone asked the length of your sides and you replied that it was a sick question and then said pervert. Yet, when I asked if you were equilateral or isosceles, you actually answered. Why is that?)  
Not really the nicest person you'll meet,  
~Frostshard

* * *

If you made Doritos and bananas not exist you're going on my list to help out during my rain! And if you destroyed the satellite the world would be hectic! Especially my 'friend' over here, to be honest she would give in and just resort to insanity if she didn't have internet. So… destroy it! Insanity is your best friend ok, don't forget that! Ending sentences is a crime!

All of the animals are useless. I'm feeling open today and besides, the world is about to end so you might as well know!

~Bill Cipher~


	22. SparkFlyer 2

SparkFlyer

Dear still amazing Bill,

Sorry, I didn't have any permanent markers, so I just had to use a regular pen on paper. :( Also, sorry about the messy room, I'm planning to clean it up soon. There was bags of Doritoes EVERYWHERE today. I tried to destroy most of them. One of my friends said those evil chips were you, so I punched them. Hopefully that made you pleased! I'm glad I'm going to survive the apocalypse! Hopefully, there's not TOO much fire! Well, have a good/normal day, Bill! Talk to you later!

BILL, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ACHIEVEMENT?! YOU ARE CAUSING THE APOCALYPSE. BE PROUD. VERY PROUD. YOUR FOLLOWERS BELIEVE IN YOU.

BILL, YOU KNOW I BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU KNOW IT. ALSO, WHAT DEAL DID YOU MAKE WITH BLANDIN TO GAIN HIS MEAT SACK AS A PUPPET? I BELIEVE IN YOU BILL, YOU AMAZING AMAZING DEMON.

* * *

Well as long as you draw me! Punch them all! FINALLY ALL WILL BOW TO ME! I've got to say it was fun tricking shooting star! Blandin is a fat winy baby, of cores not as much as the time baby, but are you surprised?

TIME TO THROW THE ULTIMATE PARTY, THERE'S NO WAY TO CELEBRATE A 13TH B-DAY PARTY WITH OUT YOUR'S TRULY! HAHAHAHA!

~Bill Cipher~


	23. Frostshard 5

Frostshard

HEY BILL, WHERE DID YOUR AWESOME SADISTICNESS GO?

* * *

Well I've been a little preoccupied with TAKING OVER THE WORLD! And the girl who owns this account has a password! I tried to go into her mind while she was sleeping but DEAR GOD'S (me) something is wrong with her dreams.

~Bill Cipher~


	24. Caleb

Caleb

BILL, I HAVE SEEN MANY SYMBOLS THAT BEAR A STRONG RESEMBLANCE TO YOU, SUCH AS ON THE BACK OF THE DOLLAR BILL. DID YOU BASE YOURSELF ON THEM, OR DID YOU CREATE THEM?

* * *

Well I've made a lot of deals with people, made some friends, went to some places. I'm very well known throughout the galaxy!

~Bill Cipher~


	25. RepeatingSimplePhrases

Hello, Bill Cipher, it's nice to be talking again.  
Remember me? The child you possessed to get access to the vault in my family's mansion? Oh, well, one of them.  
I was hoping to meet you again but I see that this letter is the closest thing I can get to actually meeting you.  
I'll have you know that I am actually doing very well in the underworld. I've made quite a lot of friends that I'm sure you'd love to meet one day, and, there's a boy that I've taken quite the liking to.  
May I request your assistance?

Xoxo  
London Von Dutch  
Aka (RepeatingSimplePhrases)

* * *

HELLO well I'm not the easiest demon to get along with so don't be surprised if I kill your friends on sight! You may request my assistance!

~Bill Cipher~


	26. bill will be back tomorrow

Me: hey guys I'm about to go somewhere and won't be by a computer for a while (not to long) so Bill will have to get back to you tomorrow because I am not letting an oblivious demon on my account unless I am there.

Bill: you can trust me!

Me: yea sure whatever *sarcasm*


	27. SORRY!

Me: I am soooooooooooooo sorry for not letting Bill write back to you guys but I have been super sick. I get dizzy just sitting up.

Bill: yea no kidding, you and your disgusting bodily functions are keeping me from writing to my followers.

Me: shut up! I don't feel good and the last thing I need is your superior act annoying me.

Bill: well then it looks like you can go and suffer in a ditch!

Me: well I'm honored that I am now hated by Bill Cipher the ruler of the apocalypse!

Bill: ARE YOU KIDDING!? I have always hated you but every time I try to kill you, you somehow get out alive!

Me: stop yelling, I need to go lay back down, so… dizzy… (Seriously I am a little dizzy and tired good night)

p.s. did anyone see the new episode? "To be continued" T_T


	28. everyone that wrote when I was away

HM GFMAU

Hope you get better soon!  
Woulden't want to miss the rest of  
The apocolipse/weirdmagedon~

And yes, i saw it, the first;"to be continued" in gravity falls T~T  
The Torture! (Bet you like that Bill ;P )

So Bill, let me give you an applause  
You succeeded to bring the apocalypse!  
*claps hands with a lot of other random people who just appeared*

So what will you do after the monster party?  
Won't it be pretty boring? You know, nothing to do.  
maybe Not, You problably find something fun to do,  
Your Bill cipher After all!

Well anyway, have a great party Bill!  
And Lynn Pines, you just get better ;P  
Eat lots of icecream, toast with garlic and drink LOTs of Tea with honey and lemon.  
(I don't know if eating or drinking this, will help agenst dizzynes,  
But it's worth a try right ;D)  
Oh! And sleep! A LOT!

* * *

I always love torture, it's fun! Let's see… THE PARTY NEVER ENDS! For me anyway.

~Bill Cipher~

Athor/Mabelton Lynn Pines: YAY I'M BETTER!

* * *

RepeatingSimplePhrases

Oh, Bill, why do you have to torture the ones I love?

* * *

Because I am a power hungry demon that is immortal, what else is there to do?

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

SSTB

Dear Mr. Cipher,

I'm a huge fan of your work! I was wondering how you managed to get such awesome powers and if there was anyway to have mortal (I think) like me get some powers like that. If not, then I would be more than happy to offer my body and/or soul and/or sanity to be your apprentice.

-SSTB

P.S. Nice job on the Weirdmaggedon! It was great how you managed to make Preston Northwest's eyes his mouth on a KIDS SHOW! Also, look out for Gideon, you don't know what he's planning.

* * *

Well Gideon had that amulet, but besides that nothing _I can_ tell you to get powers. Please kid, I know about Gideon, he'll get what's coming to him.

Shademoon the Forgotten Soul

My brain exploded when I saw the new episode. Now I have gross gooey brain juices leaking out of my ears and nose. (I'm so disgusting XD)

I would like to see this can you draw me on something?

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Guest

Do you know discord?

* * *

I do in fact!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

BleuBirdy16

Greetings Bill/William,

Well, where do I begin on how,erm, EPIC THE APOCALYPSE LOOKS! Even your demon peeps look good.

(I was screaming the entire time too)

Few questions:

~Is it true that every time we draw you, a sort of peephole is made and you get to see into our world?

~What was, as I shall now have to say, your opinion on Tine Baby?

~You know Blendin escaped right?(not so"all seeing eye" are we now)

~Are you a fan of all the ships people have put you in? If any, name a few.

~#themysteryoftheicebag is a thing.

~Why do you say Reality is an Illusion and The Universe is a hologram? I get the whole 'buy gold' thing.

~ As of this episode, what is going on in the rest of the world?! It seems like the chaos is only in Gravity Falls...

Lady Carlyle and Lady Anna say hi.

Also,

Are you just going to party for eternity? I mean seriously that must get boring at some point.( Even though it looks soooo epic) And if you hurt Carlyle's precious Mabel you die. We have all the obsidian bladed coral handled swords and holy water we need. Just try to hurt us, just try.

Sincerely,

Lady Bleu~Lady Carlyle~Lady Annna

PS:

What are you going to do about the enraged and crazy fandom?

* * *

1\. Yes

2\. He's so annoying

3\. I know he escaped, but I mean come on, what is he going to do.

4\. Absolutely none of them! You humans are weird and sick. (me: my favorite is Mabill but still I'm hesitant) NO ONE ASKED YOU!

5\. Anything can be a thing, like cannibals! That worked out perfectly!

6\. Reality is fake and the universe doesn't exist.

7\. It will spread all around the world!

Do you really think you can hurt me? With blessed water and obsidian blade?

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

SophiaCrutchfeild

... What the fuck?!

* * *

Language please

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Guest

(I was screaming the whole episode.)  
Dear Bill,  
Nice job murdering Time Baby. He was really annoying. You seem to be a huge party animal. Nice. You're (Please don't hate me for saying this..) like a rebellious teen with all the illegal drinks now. (I'm sorry. Please don't let me die yet..!) Where's Stanley? I'm sure that he's dead or something, I don't know. You probably (probably? Certainly, you're the all seeing Bill Cipher!) know, of course. Your "squad" (Calling them your squad now.. Sorry) seems pretty interesting! Why are you trying to keep the symbols on the Cipher Symbal seperated from each other? Sorry for bothering you! Bye!

* * *

Aren't I such a good influence! Stanly is a con man and was preparing for the apocalypse so guess. I'm not separating anyone! Except for Pine Tree and Shooting Star!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Guest

dear,bill cipher i have three questions  
1\. where you created if so than how and why  
2 do you except live mortals to serve u (i worship u)  
3 do you dislike mortals if so why  
p.s im a huge fan...and you may be evil and stuff but i think if i treat you right that we can actually be friends

sincerely yours, httydlover87197

* * *

1\. I was created to be your ruler!

2\. I don't know maybe…

3\. yes, there useless meat sacks

We will have see about that kid!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

SparkFlyer

BILL, HAVE YOU EVER MADE SOME KIND OF INDIRECT DEAL *intense breathing* LIKE IT WAS TO GET SOMETHING, BUT THE PERSON STILL GOT THE OTHER THING IN RETURN BUT IN A LESSER EXTENT. UM LIKE A "TIME PORTAL"  
SINCERELY, PARANOID ME.. OH NO

* * *

I'm feeling like you are implying something… maybe…

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Joanna

Dearest Bill Cipher,  
It's absolutely ridiculous that I can't use the tab key in these, so my apologies for the sloppy beginning. Excuse my bother of such short notice, but I just have some information for you, followed by some questions. When I was younger, in the car on my way to school, we always used to pass by this tree that was on a corner, and it looked like it had eyes all over it, and it always looked like, to me, that, at least, one of them was always looking at me. Now that I go back to that tree, it doesn't have the same affect on me anymore as it did when I was young. Is this your doing?  
Another story I would like to tell is of a dream I had. Apparently an exorcist had just finished, well, exorcising, a demon from a person, and my parent warned me against trying to use magic like that. I, being stupid in both dreams and reality, tried it anyways, and, things had gone awry. It was figured out in the end how to solve the problem, but there is a detail, specifically, that I would very much like to ask you about. I have movie posters on my wall in my bedroom, and, in the dream, they all were posters of you, instead. Was that your doing?  
I'm not trying to be interrogative in a negative sense, really I am not, but it's just that my curiosity got the better of me this time.  
Kindest regards,  
Joanna

* * *

The trees are sometimes used as peepholes for other demons. As for the dream, I am the king of all dreams! So don't be surprised to see me in them.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

fiona

hey Bill what scares you the most and what do think of human you

* * *

BillDip, humans are weak, I wouldn't want to be one, but I must say I would look hot!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Hello Bill,  
I just watched Dipper and Mabel vs the future. Congratulations on unleashing the apocalypse/letting all hell break loose. I did not expect you to possess Blendin tough. The moment was Epic, no wait, it was the Epic of Epicness! I applaud you.  
Greetings, Nameless Panda

* * *

I am your epic leader!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Shademoon the Forgotten Soul

Ok, but I do have two or three more letters for Bill. Here's one of them:  
Dear Bill,  
IF you had a cat, what would you name it. Please note I said 'IF' and not 'I'm forcing you to have a cat just to name it.' Oh, and just pretend you, uhh, like(?) that cat to death. Alright?

* * *

I would name it Diablo. Those thing are evil!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

DaniellePines

(You can answer this when she let's you back on)  
Wait wait, waitwaitwait. You can see out of drawings of you? Aw crap. Don't look at any of the pages in my journal through that picture of mad you! I put some very personal and really weird things in there!  
Okay, now that I got that out of the way, I wanted to ask to see if you've ever gone in my mind? If you haven't and/or are planing to, don't go near the file cabinet in the back. That has some disturbing images in it. At least half of them are BillDip Fanart that I was too curious to look away from *shudders* I regret that so much.  
So, mister Big-shot, how does it feel to have all this power? Feels good doesn't it, to overthrow your enemies. Also, to try and please you, cause I don't want to be disintegrated, I have thrown away all Doritos, avoid bananas, draw triangles EVERYWHERE, and I am currently in the process of creating your summoning circle. That last one might have to wait until I get the journal in 2016, cause I need a closer look at the pages.  
Just keep on being your evil self, and I'll see you in the next episode!  
Cut off the camera Danny. That's, that's not the off button. Your messing the entire thing up! Stop touching it! Don't press that-  
Technical Difficulties, please hold.  
*Ends*

* * *

I'm sorry I have already looked, it's normal though, humans all have things to hide! As for your curious mind… it happens *shivers* only I watch Dippers day dreams. Man that kid has problems. KILL ALL DORITOS! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

NickStriker

Wow Bill. You tricked Mabel way too easily. What a second... *room turns a faint shade of red* ... ugh now what does he want?

Satan: CIPHER! HOW DARE YOU SLACK OFF ON THIS SITE? I GIVE YOU ONE JOB AND YOU DECIDE TO FOOL AROUND WITH THESE CHILDREN! GET BACK TO WORK OR ELSE I WILL MAKE THAT WILL CIPHER LOOK LIKE A DRUG LORD COMPARED TO YOU!

NickStriker: ... ... Alright then. That was... Different.

* * *

Tell Satan that he can suck it! I'm in charge now! HAHAHAHAHA!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Bleu chapter

Hai,  
HUGE FAN OF YOURS...

Congrats of taking over the world.

But there is something that I have to ask u~ (a few things actually)

1\. There has been a debate on whether u or Peridot is the Dorito lord, are u the lord or not?! (If u don't know who Peridot is, look it up on the freaking Internet!)

2\. What do plan to do with the world once u start partying? Destroy it, keep it as is and kill all humans?

3\. Will u make a deal with me? I would love to get out of this cursed mirror realm and back into reality ...

4\. Will u spare all your followers? *cough* I'm one of those people*cough* *cough*

I'm...losin...connectio...goo...d...lu...ck...

~Bleu

* * *

1\. WHAT IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE AND FREAKING DORITOS!? I do not want to be compared to one ever!

2\. We'll have to see if we party too hard because if I play Wrecking Ball I swear Pyronica will destroy everything!

3\. I would love to make a deal with you, and about your situation… sounds like you're having fun!

4\. maybe… it all depends but it is more likely.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Guest

Hey Bill!What do you think of shipping? Also, my tablet broke!ahhh!  
Sorry,I just got hit with one of fire balls,somehow.  
Can you be on our side of the fourth wall?Like,entirely?

* * *

I hate shipping! And one day I will come to that side!

~Bill Cipher~


	29. everyone who PM me

deadshoot12345

Give me the true meaning of insanity. Nit the Einstein meaning your meaning. By the way have you seen the ways humans draw you if you were human and finally did you know that you're in a fanfiction website?

* * *

Hello! The true meaning of insanity is when there is no meaning at all! Please people think I would look like that but not even close, I would be a lot hotter! And finally yes I did!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

FanficFan920

Dear Bill,  
On a scale of 1-10, how patient are you?

* * *

From1 being impatient to 10 being patient I would be a -∞

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Vulpix's Fire

Greetings, new overlord Bill,  
I have a few simple questions. First, What is your favorite Pokemon? Surely a demon like yourself must have one. Secondly, when you take over the world will you destroy the sun, thus plunging the world into eternal night? Thirdly, what are your think of Wendy? Fourthly, can I set Gideon's hair on fire.. Never mind, I just did. Lastly why is there a picture of you at the Northwest mansion?  
By the what do you think of my dreams?  
Vulpix's Fire or Vulpix (or whatever you call me when you enslave humanity)

* * *

1\. I don't really watch that human entertainment, it lacks torture but I'd pick the most evil and powerful one.

2\. The sun has done nothing to me but I may consider.

3\. I think she is just another meat bag I can manipulate!

4\. Good

5\. I'm everywhere

6\. They seem normal; all humans end up having the same dreams somewhat.

~Bill Cipher~


	30. Shademoon the Forgotten Soul

Shademoon the Forgotten Soul

Challenge accepted. I will POST it on my DeviantArt, which is Moonstar132. Also, I have a few pictures of you here and there...

* * *

I'll be watching… you're not that bad of a drawer, but I'm a little offended by some of the things on there… Doritos!

~Bill Cipher~


	31. Karly Kat 13

Karly Kat 13

Hey Bill to be honest I didn't know your name until me and my friend were talking about the first episode you were in. I sort of grown to liking you as well anyways why is Dipper Pine Tree ?I mean I get his last name is Pines but so is Mabel's and most of the time you leave her alone and don't call her Pine Tree. Also would I be able to make a deal with you were you could change someone's thoughts because let's just say a little bridie usually makes fun of me because of things I like and things I do and I wish it would stop.

* * *

I have that effect on people, and Dipper is Pine Tree because his hat is well known with him. He wears it all the time! But with Mabel I call her Shooting Star because she wore her shooting star sweater the first day she came, she never wares the same thing.

I can make a deal with anyone I want, sure we could work it out but I think you should get in their head and drive them crazy. Yes it is possible for humans to do it, it's called therapy, it doesn't have to be good therapy though! Have fun!

~Bill Cipher~


	32. Ghost Guardian 2

Ghost Guardian

Bonjour my good demon!  
It is a cold and frigid day in the Far Frozen, I was wondering if we could make a deal about you tearing a hole in this dimension as well, I would dearly like to come and help with the mayhem.  
I may cause something to go awry, but it's weirdmaggedon, right?  
A smiling, vengeful snow demon

* * *

Sure thing and I think you would fit in well with all the demons around but you remember I am in charge!

~Bill Cipher~


	33. RepeatingSimplePhrases 2

RepeatingSimplePhrases

Hello again, dear old friend.  
I was wondering how much it'd cost for you to dispose of a body.  
Not that large. About five feet tall and a foot wide (with the arms at it's side).

Get back to me as soon as possible, I already have a few people onto me...

* * *

Not much at all just a little _**favor**_ , we can work out the details when it comes time!

~Bill Cipher~


	34. Marry Christmas

This is a Christmas gift from the author; she made me write to you humans! I hope you're happy!

* * *

Hi Bill! I know you will probably overlook this letter but I have 2 questions. Do you like tin foil hats? Also do you like shiny silver spoons? Someone online (you know who you are) said you like tin foil hats and shiny silver spoons.

From,  
Maddy

I think it's funny when I see a human wearing a ten foil hat. Spoons are cool too. By the way I know who you are referring too.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

NotBibleCANON

Hello Bill, you did not reply to my last response, so I assumed you did not see it;

Firstly, if someone uses you for an Illuminati Confirmed meme, how long are you going to torture them before scattering their atoms across the stars?

Secondly, doesn't the Mystery Shack have immunity to demon energy? therefore, if Dipper fails to stop you, he can hide out there and possibly use the energy residue to rebuild the dimensional portal to escape you or travel to parallel universe to prevent your escape. This could have been prevented if you originally had prevented the creation of the barrier, such as puppeteering Blendin to comfort Mabel after she was emotionally turbulent after falsely learning that she was not a good person from the 'unicorn' Cellestebellebeth.

Thirdly, while I have to admire the force used to vaporize Time Baby (couple of kilotons), I doubt it would be as effective against a greater entity, good or evil, as you drew attention to yourself for invading Earth. For example, Chaos or Lucifer Morningstar might attempt to overpower you for control of the Earth; or Order or the Man of Miracles might scatter your essence to the far corners of reality. How do oh respond?

Memes are evil, but I'll let humanity have their fun but they won't be laughing here soon. Dipper doesn't have time to do all of the things you have listed. They will run out of foon soon enough.

I am just going to say, there is no one more powerful than me.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

OnyxFang99

Hi, Sorry for bothering you but I just wanted to ask you a question.

~What's your opinion on MaBill?

That is all

Sincerely, Onyx

My opinion on MaBill? What do you expect? Like that would ever happen, I'm too good for anyone.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

avangers-lokitty

Hey bill, I have a few questions.

1: can I help with weirdmagadon.  
2: why didn't the weirdness wave affected Soos, Wendy, Dipper, Mabel, Stanley, Stanford, Gideon, Robbie and so on.  
3: where do I get the bubbles of pure madness, they seems like fun.  
4: can you PLEASE give me my worst nightmares tonight?, I love nightmares... what, I'm weird...  
5: can you tell me what you will do next?

Your our lord master for all eternity for sure.

Greetings from one of your subjects  
avengers-lokitty  
B.t.w., do you know loki, the god of mischief and lies? He's a little like you

Maybe…

Because then it wouldn't be interesting.

They are fun; maybe I'll send you some.

Sure thing kid, I think I'm starting to like you.

Take over the world!

Loki is a lie

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

DRACONICORNUS REX

The tree picture... I was hyper when I drew that...

I figured

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Gabby-Star

Bill,  
Once this Weirdmageddon's over, what are you going to do next? Do you have anything in mind?

Sincerely,  
Gabby-Star

I'm just going to roll with whatever happens after.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Fall2Glory

Bill, what do you think of pictures where you have a human appearance? Also could you see from them, if so could you see the internet's insides?

Some of them make me look hot… others not so much. And yes I can see from them, I chose not to answer that last question.

~Bill Cipher~


	35. I have returned

**Me: Hello! Sorry it's been a while. After Bill disappeared it took me a really long time to find where he was!**

 **Bill: I told you I would return, didn't I?**

 **Me: welcome back, have fun answering your fan mail!**

 **Bill: I don't have my full power back yet, so I don't have anything else to do.**

* * *

Guest

Hi bill this guest21 here do you ship dipifica?

This shipping thing humans do is just pathetic.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Nightmare

Dear Bill Cipher,  
You are awesome...Have you gone on YouTube?  
P. AND BANANAS WILL DIE!  
P.P. teacher thought I was insane when I laughed in her class...  
P.P.P.S I have not been having dreams!

I am the only creature who has seen the entire internet! You humans are messed up.

DEATH TO BANANAS!

Laughter is great, especially if it's insane laughter!

Dreams are a privilege! You will get them when the times right and just be careful when you do get one. I have a strange feeling about it.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

HippoKing

I saw a video of Soos AKA Question Mark twerking in a thong and now my brain is bleeding. Are there any creatures in your dimension that look like hippos? If there are, I rule them all!  
Get the darn image of Thong Twerk Soos out of my head!  
P.S. A giant butt attacked me with its laser farts. Was that yours?  
P.P.S. Are you friends with Discord from My Little Pony?  
P.P.P.S. I saw three guys call you an illuminati banana dorito. I ripped their skulls out. They also said your hat was goofy. IT IS NOT! IT IS AWESOOOOOOOME! Aw crud, the butt is back.  
Butt: I am Twerkimus! I shall now use my silent but deadly butt lasers to destroy your gold  
*Explosion in the background*  
HippoKing: That wasn't very silent. Plus I don't have any gold. Just diamonds that my winged hippos poop.  
Twerkimus: POOP BOMB!  
HippoKing: NOOOOOOOOOO!  
*Second explosion in the background followed by squishing sounds*  
HippoKing: Bill, please get rid of this thing! Before it poops again!

I bet your brain would be bleeding! It even hurts my eye! Not in the good way either. There are creatures in my dimension that look like hippos, but I am the only ruler in that place!

I think I'll leave that image of Soos in your head for fun!

That dream could have been made by me… why do you ask?

And your human entertainment is annoying!

Good! My hat has meaning!

Lastly, your imagination is wild. That's really good. Keep it up!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Diana Huntress Pines

Hello, Bill.  
I am Diana Huntress, Goddess of the Hunt, Keeper of Truths, Gaurdian of Cannibals, and Lady of Slow and Painful Deaths. I have a feeling that you will need me in this so-called 'Weirdmagedon'. I will provide misery in the humans last hours, and hunt down rebels for you. But in return, I must ask that you spare at least one of each of my Sacred Animals, the Tiger, for its Unique Independence, the Panther, for its Untamed Ferocity, the Hawk, for its Predatory Speed, and the Owl, for its Irreplaceable Knowlage.  
I have heard of you, Bill Cipher, and how you started this gleeful madness. I look forward to meeting you at last.  
But as the Keeper of Truths, I must warn you of a time when all this, all that you have worked for, will end. Not by the Pines Twins, not by the people represented on the Cipher Wheel, but by yourself. And to stop it, you must face your past, face who you once were. But I assure you, all that is far from happening. But the time it happens, the universe will be long dead in this Realm, with nothing left but floating ball of rock that were once planets.  
On an unrelated note, I refuse to eat Doritos. Or much human food, for that matter.  
I will enjoy watching the humans suffer.

Yours Faithfully,  
-Diana, Goddess of the Hunt.

You have a really long name! When I regain my power and get a plan I'll call you! I might need some help with the Pines twins. And the greatest evil in this world is Doritos!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Jays Shadow

BIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL *cri tears of pure joy* I FINALLY DID THE PICTURE. I FINALLY DID IT. ;u;

Congrats!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Guest

To Dorito god ( aka bill ),  
Hi Bill thanks for making my favorite T.V. show even better! I have few questions for you. What is your favorite thing to do in you free time? How come you don't just in slave everyone in Gravity Falls? And lastly, why do you want to take over the world?

From,  
Daniel :)

I do not enjoy being called a Dorito!

I make things better, kid! It's just what I do! My favorite thing to do is listening to screams and watching people!

I didn't enslave everyone because I needed a throne. Lastly, I have everything I want except the world so I guess it's just something to entertain me.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

avangers-lokitty

Hey bill,  
Thanks for responding.

1 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me help?

2 yeah your right, but if you left them unchecked they would be a pain in the arse later, they even escaped mabels pricenbubble

3 yay, I'll be waiting for them. :D

4 thanks for the night mare, loved it, more more more please :D

5 alright, well i'll support you all the way, b.t.w. you have a very cool gang, but your still the best.

6 it's sad that loki is a lie because if he was real you could make a deal with him and you also could take over asgaurd ( than you would have another world for fun)

7 do you like Justin bieber. Yes nevermind, no can I get his head as a always screaming head?

8 can you give me some deerteeth, I want some for my collection. ;)

Your still our lord master for all eternity  
Greetings from one of your subjects  
Avengers-lokitty

1) Once I regain my power I'll need more help than I thought.

2) The Pines are a lot tougher than I thought.

4) As you wish.

5) Thanks!

6) Even if he was real I doubt I could work with him.

7) Death to all pop stars!

8) I'll send you some!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Girl Soul-sucker

What is it that you hate about the Pines? And how creepy do you think it is for me to actually dream about blood-shed? also, what do you think about MabelxBill?

The Pines get in my way! Blood-shed is fun, but I'm use to the real thing so…

Why do people ship me with the twins!

(I love that ship but Bill would never let that happen)

Hey, this is my letter!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

gest 1.0

hay bill, huge fan, love your work in the ways of chaos and all that  
1 do you think if you met a dream demon that was a grill and she was as chaotic as you and wanted to help you take over the world would you let her help you?  
2 if you had to chose would you have a human girlfriend or a dream demon girlfriend but she was more powerful then you?  
3 do you deep down, deep, deep, deep down think that even tho your evil and all you could one day fall in love?  
4for a girlfriend what would she look like(human form and demon) and what would she act like?  
5could you send me a really dark nightmare pleas... or I will start calling you a Dorito (sarcasm)  
6 would you date ever me or my friend Kate...its important we get a answer pleas. (gives you a grin and winks)

1) … that's a hard question, I don't like sharing. But I guess I would.

2) I don't need to love but if I had to chose one I would chose human, you guys are pathetic but I would hate for someone to be more powerful than me.

3) Love is for the weak! Even if I did I would completely ignore it. But I doubt it would ever happen.

4) I wouldn't care, nor would I make an effort to spend time with her.

5) Threatening me hmm? Fine, the darkest you humans can survive.

6) Dating is beneath me but I might meet you here soon.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Jays Shadow

BILL. BILLBILLBILLBILL. HAVE YOU. EVER HEARD. OF A WEBCOMIC. CALLED. HOMESTUCK. (It's so messed up on so many levels yet I keep reading it :T

I have heard of it actually but that is because I know everything.

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

Guest

I'm, hey Bill. You have a bunch of Daniels who think you are hot. Don't kill us. We love you!

\- Some Persona

…wha?

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

OnyxFang99

You know I'm not human right? Anyway,NO ONE IN ANY DIMENSION IS MORE POWERFUL THEN ME! AND NO ONE DISAGREES WITH MY SHIPS! NO ONE!

~Onyx

Hang on a second there, you do know I am _the_ Bill Cipher, correct? There is no one being more powerful than me! and I disagree with all ships!

~Bill Cipher~

* * *

ChibiDemon

Bill,  
I just wanted to tell you that I'm a huge fan of your work. Your Weirdmaggedon was like crazy, demonic art! Also, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a few questions:  
1\. Do you think blood tastes better than ketchup?  
2\. Can you send me some deer teeth sometime? That would be awesome.  
know lots of stuff, so can you tell me, are dragons real?  
I know you're probably busy, causing the apocalypse and all, so just answer these when and if you get around to it.

1) Yes

2) Sure thing kid!

3) You can find some here and there.

~Bill Cipher~


End file.
